Giving the world a hand since February 3rd, 2002. "If you're gonna dine with them cannibals, sooner or later, darling, you're gonna get eaten."




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THE HORROR...

Found via the Daily Probe:

Body of Missing Turkey Identified

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. (DPI) - The burned and dismembered remains of a turkey missing since last Thursday were identified by forensic scientists today after a statewide search located the body in a Birmingham Dumpster. Marvin David Glockencoddlykook, missing from a Montgomery ranch for the past week, was feared abducted after failing to show up at feeding time Thursday morning. Volunteer searchers found the skeletonized corpse under a crumpled aluminum pan behind an apartment complex and notified police. Police are holding John Randall Cooper, 46, in custody under suspicion of murder and mutilation of a corpse.

Is this an instance of terrorism, or simply another meaningless crime?
so wrote Leper around about 3:24 PM

 
EASTER EGGS IN DECEMBER

For those of you who purchased the 4-disc set of "Lord of the Rings", I've discovered a couple of easter eggs for your enjoyment. The funniest is the MTV Movie Awards version of the council of Elrond, starring Jack Black & Sarah Michelle Gellar. Jack takes the One Ring & uses it as a....um....maybe you'd best watch it for yourself. The other is the trailer for "The Two Towers". Wow. I can't wait to see the battle for Helm's Deep.

(Ok, ok, I found out about them via the easter egg page on dvdreview.com. So sue me.)
so wrote Leper around about 2:19 AM

 
BORED

Bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored.

Babysitting the munchkin. Starved for adult contact. Someone entertain me!
so wrote Leper around about 8:26 PM

 
BECAUSE "SCUTTLE THE BISMARCK" WOULDN'T HAVE MADE A VERY GOOD SONG

Some Brits are pissed about a report that the World War II German battleship Bismarck wasn't sunk by British naval gunfire & torpedoes. Several expeditions to the sunken ship have led experts to the conclusion that the ship sank as a result of scuttling charges set of by the German sailors themselves, as had been claimed by German survivors, not British action. One expedition, led by director James Cameron, had this to say:

Would the wounded Bismarck have sunk without the scuttling? "Sure," Mr. Cameron said in an interview. "But it might have taken half a day."

The German sailors told of setting off scuttling charges (explosives most military ships carry that shatter water intakes and other weak areas near the ship's keel), and that those charges, exploded about 30 minutes before the sinking--before the last torpedoes hit--were the real cause of the Bismarck's demise.

So tell me, my one or two international readers, is this the British equivalent of finding out that the Japanese sank their own carriers at the battle of Midway?
so wrote Leper around about 9:57 PM

 
SEEING TOO MUCH?

I finally got someone to go to the movies with me on Friday. A trek over to the second-run theater--where $5 gets you a ticket, small drink, & small popcorn--allowed me to finally see "Signs". Mel Gibson was ok, nothing spectacular, and the rest of the cast was solid, if unremarkable. The real star was the directing. Remember how creepy "The Sixth Sense" was the first time you saw it? That was how this movie felt. Rare is the movie that can hold that feeling of suspense without resorting to gross-out special effects. I find it very interesting that the underlying assumption of the movie from the first minute was that aliens are real. Oh, sure, there were the clumsy attempts to confuse the viewer with ambiguity, but those were so ham-handed so as to only get in the way of the plot. I do have two real problems with the movie, though...

First, I disapprove of the decision of the director to actually allow us to see the aliens close up. By removing them from the shadow, he takes away from the suspense. Keeping the aliens off camera would have allowed the viewers' imagination to fill in the blanks. Now, I don't know about you, but my imagination is much more powerful & inventive than any computer animated image ever to come out of Hollywood. It would have been a much more brave choice on the part of the director to allow the audience to scare the pants off of themselves.

Second, when the characters get the info about the aliens invading the Earth, what do they do? The board up the house. Period. This is crap. Every red-blooded American knows that, in the event of alien invasion, you race for the local gun store & stock up on munitions. This movie had an amazing lack of weapondry. In fact, only two weapons were used during the whole movie, one of which was a big metal grilling fork--hardly the arsenal that will scare off rampaging E.T.s.

Still and all, I give the movie a reserved "thumbs up". It's much like "The Sixth Sense", in the fact that you will want to watch it once or twice, and then be content to catch it when it comes on broadcast TV from time to time.
so wrote Leper around about 9:13 PM