Leper Messiah

Giving the world a hand since February 3rd, 2002. "If you're gonna dine with them cannibals, sooner or later, darling, you're gonna get eaten."


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Thursday, June 26, 2003
 
WHEELIN' AND DEALIN'

I just made a deal with the gf. I agreed to go see "Alex & Emma" if she'd agree to go to "28 Days Later" with me.

See? Relationships are all about give-and-take.

Also, to be released on DVD on August 5th: "The Omega Man", perhaps Charleton Heston's most over-the-top movie since "The Ten Commandments". On that day, I'll be watching the Last Man on Earth fight the mutant scum for supremacy!


 
THE REAL JOKE IS IN THE NAMES

From The Daily Probe:
Scientist Discovers Evidence of Personality in Cat

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (DPI) - Despite complete agreement among animal psychologists that cats have, in one expert's words, "only slightly more personality than dirt," Lynn Schrodinger of the University of California at Davis' veterinary department today issued a contradictory report based on her own studies. "Little Snowball isn't like other kitties, are you, snoogums?" she said in the report. "No you're not, no, no! You're such a smart little kitty-poo!" Other members of her team disagreed. "All objective evidence indicates Felix Domesticus is nothing more than a fur-shedding parasite," said one colleague who spoke on condition of anonymity. In an interview, however, Schrodinger defended her findings. "Mean people don't understand us, do they, sweetie-puss?" she said. "No, they don't."
Heh.


Monday, June 23, 2003
 
THE HEADLINE SAYS IT ALL

Hulk Smashes B.O. Records

I can see it now: "Ugh! Smashing tanks make Hulk's armpits cry stinky tears!"