"The real hope here is that people will return to the record store," said Eric Garland, CEO of BigCampagne LLC, which tracks peer-to-peer Internet trends. "The biggest question is whether singling out a handful of copyright infringers will invigorate business or drive file-sharing further underground, further out of reach."

Still, all this was fine until the pre-party ceremony. Allah had hired that guy who used to be the P.A. announcer for the Chicago Bulls to introduce Osama and the magnificent 19. Allah thought it would get the crowd going, you know? So the introductions began without incident: The room was darkened, a laser light show of the star and crescent began to circle on the floor and then, "Welcome, gentlemen, to Allah-paLOOOOOOOza." The shahids began screaming wildly, as though they were in Gaza and a Jew helicopter had just fired a missile at Sheikh Yassin. "ANNNNND NOW, YOUR Magnificent 19!" Rapturous cheers as the name, height and university of each glorious mujahid were announced and he came running onto the floor. This also proceeded without incident, until it came time for asshole. When Atta's name was called he came walking into the room very slowly and deliberately. He still wore the hat but the bill had been pulled to one side, and now he had on sunglasses and an Iverson jersey. Allah looked at Osama and Osama just shook his head and mouthed the word "Poseur." Allah nodded and mouthed back, "Totally."