Giving the world a hand since February 3rd, 2002. "If you're gonna dine with them cannibals, sooner or later, darling, you're gonna get eaten."




Comments by YACCS

 
...AND IN THIS CORNER...

...from the great state of Iowa, weighing in at 8 lbs 6 oz, 20 1/2" long, Keira Ann!

She's got brown hair (with maybe some reddish tint, but it's hard to tell right now), blue eyes (like all newborns do), and *fully* developed lungs. Trust me on that last one.

She's got a good grip, too. Not sure which hand she leads with. Yet.

She's got a long tongue--which she sticks out regularly--and monkey toes, just like Mommy.

Oh, and she's beautiful.

I did really well all through the whole process. I only got woozy twice. The first time was when I heard the snip of the apiceotomy (*shudder*), and the other was when I glanced down as Keira was coming out. It was the fount of blood that almost made me pass out, not the sight of the kid.

R felt nothing after the epidural. She really only suffered through about 30 min of hard labor before getting it. After that, the monitor was needed to tell her when the contractions were happening.

I'm going back to the hospital tonight, spending another night there, & we all get to come home tomorrow!

Sidenote: a 16 MB card for my digital camera just doesn't hold shit for pics. Still, I got some good blackmail material for when she graduates!

so wrote Leper around about 7:37 PM

 
BIG NEWS

They are inducing R tomorrow night.

We're both scared shitless.

so wrote Leper around about 1:18 PM

 
HOW IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT FROM A "QUIZ SHOW"-TYPE SCANDAL?

Dubya doesn't like the hard questions.

What a big fake. Why doesn't the media follow up on this aspect of his campaign?

so wrote Leper around about 12:34 PM

 
PRELIMINARY IOWA STATE FAIR REPORT

With R's due date being today, we thought that a nice, enjoyable day at the Iowa State Fair was in order.

The weather was PERFECT! 75F for the high, low humidity, few clouds, light breezes. Heck, it was around 65F when we got there. It was great, because we would be walking everywhere seeing as R was unable to ride anything on the Midway, or even the Skyglider (the ski-lift thing that takes you from one end of the grounds to the other)!

We walked in at 9:30am, and quickly zeroed in on the nearest corn dog stand. Ahhhh, there's nothing like the taste of the very first corndog made by that stand that day. I can honestly say, it was the best corndog I've ever had.

Within an hour, we were munching on a funnel cake. I don't know what it is about the Fair (the scent of cow/hog/horse/sheep manure, perhaps? Sweaty masses of humanity?), but funnel cakes just taste better there.

R had a roasted ear of corn, still with the husk on it. They roast it over fire, skin the husk back, dip it in liquid butter, and hand it to you. She loved it. She used the cheap cardboard fan she had picked up as a bib. (See, she's pregnant, and her belly sticks out, catching pretty much anything that misses her mouth...)

After that, R had deep-fried pickles. Ew. Just...ew.

Mini-donuts were the next item on the agenda. <Homer> Mmmmmmm.....mini-donuts.....</Homer>

The title of my next book: Cheese Curds: How Can A Dairy Product Be So Appealing?

R had a caramel apple, covered in nuts. She liked it.

For real food, I had a grilled chicken sandwich. It was a bit of a pallette cleanser, if you will, for all of the crap to follow.

The deep-fried Snickers bar is actually really good! You can't eat more than one, though, without an urgent need to vomit. Not that I tried, mind you, as even the thought of doing so made me vaguely ill.

R had another corndog. I was still recovering from my diabetic coma brought on by the deep-fried Snickers.

On our way out, with her Sciatic nerve twinging, we stopped for sno-cones. What a way to end the day!

Oh, and spin-art is fun, no matter what your age. R's latest masterpiece is titled Grasshopper on the Windshield. It will join last year's pieces Go Towards the Light! and Nothing Good on TV on a shelf in our abode. We will entertain bids for all art.

State Fair fashion tips:

• ABSOLUTELY NO SPANDEX!
• If you have a "spare tire", perhaps tight hip-huggers aren't the jeans for you. And pull down that shirt, I'm trying to eat!
• Baby strollers are fine, but don't bring the really big & unweildy "racing" stroller (the one with the big bicycle tires), especially if you're not going to pay attention to where the hell you're going!
• Not only will wearing a Kerry/Edwards campaign button get you snide remarks from Republicans, but it'll get you ahead in the line for the potty, too. [R --Thanks, lady!]
  
• Cargo shorts (especially Columbia) hold a lot of crap that you somehow aquire throughout the day, allowing you to use both hands to deal with all of the greasy food you consume.
• Fanny packs are in style, but only on the fairgrounds! All fanny packs must be removed from public view within 100 ft. of the gates. I think it's a state law.

Our child will also be the envy of her daycare class, as one of the vendors was selling tie-dye clothing, including baby clothes! She had said last year that if she ever had kids, she'd go to the Fair & pick them up some tie-dye. Lo and behold...

Almost forgot: the real gem of the day was the Mark Messier hockey card mounted on a plaque that we got for $7.50! Woo-hoo! I think I'll hang it above my computer. R will hate it, what with her being a Dallas Stars fan.


so wrote Leper around about 6:23 PM